Saturday, May 31, 2008

Oh make up.

how i love you.
You make me look awake and alive when im kinda dying on the inside <3

i have to close tonight... sucky.... oh and also its south prom today... i know im bound to bump into someone i know tonight..... pft.
Rachel called me up this morning and asked me to do her make up for her. i should probably head over there soon.

but heres a little recap on yesterday/last night.
So around 1 or so everyone loaded up all the equipment we needed
monitors, mics, chords, stands... blah blah blah

and we headed out to the roxy.
When we got there, jazz band was still rehearsing, but it was cool to listen.

James is leaving me next year :[ oh how i'll miss him.
During sound check everyone kept laughing at the stupid little sexual innuendos going on. For example for James mic check song he sang a slow ballad that had the line "you penetrate my soul.." and i started giggling. Then later on T was talking about mic technique and pulling the mic away from your face and stuff and she said something like "don't be afraid to pull out..." and michael and Kat were crackin up. Oh i love those guys.

Concert went really well. i had 2 scat solos and pretty much died during the last song because davey took the song about 5 times faster than usual and he knew it. it was a blast though. thanks for you guys who came out, it means a lot :]

Speaking of davey, he has a show tonight out in fremont and im debating on whether or not i should go. I get off of work around 10 or so and his set doesnt start till like 11:30. So i would have time to drive out there. I'll call him during break though to figure out whats going on.
K, im going to rachels house to go to her make up for tonight.

g'bye darling.

Bon Fire.

I like how i was pretty much falling asleep while i was driving home from Kats house, but now im just wasting time fucking around on myspace and blogger. oh goodness.
I smell like smoke because of the bon fire. My shins pretty much caught on fire tonight, but whatever, thats cool. Atleast i didnt get a piece of wood in my eye because of michael trying to put more wood into the fire like last time.
Im really tired.... ill blog tomorrow about the last concert and whatnot.
I have to work tomorrow... why the fuck am i still up?!?!

But before i forget... let me put this in here.

I had the strangest dream last night and you were in it.
I dind't like it... i woke up feeling very uncomfortable because of what happened in the dream.... i know i shouldn't let it phase me, but it was just really awkward and weird. Yes it happened in real life, but i don't like to think about that.
It was just weird because its not something that i can avoid. I see you everyday.... HONESTLY??! Every fuckin day.
It weirded me out. I still don't understand why i had that dream. Why, why why?!? Is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something? Maybe i just suppressed what happened back in april and i wasn't supposed to. Maybe im supposed to work things out or something.
Fuck me for being all self righteous and shit.
It was weird to spend pretty much the whole day with you after pretty much reliving what happened a few months ago.
I was drunk..... so were you. Drinking that night was just a bad idea.
or maybe im just over analyzing everything because thats what females do..... who fuckin knows man.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Funny Video.

So last night while Veronica was over and we were watching some stuff on youtube then she got a really random call and i just happened to record some of it on the webcam and uploaded it on youtube today. So ill post that on here.
Im watching National Treaure 2 right now.
so yeah... enjoy the video and these pictures.

Oh and totally random i was scooping myself some ice cream and veronica and my mom were in the kitchen and they were making fun of me because i scoop my ice cream like i do at work.
Fuckiers..... ha.


as to why i will die alone.

This video is from like last month, but i still think its funny.
My friends and i are pretty much boys trapped in girls' bodies.

You come and you go.

This would be the face that i make while listening to "Hey boy- the blow"
I've been listening to them for days now. Love Love Love.
The academic school year is almost over, im soooo close to getting my Associates degree.... come a little sooner please.

Just thought i would inform you all that i woke up with a big ass bruise on my arm this morning....

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

It went a little like this....

I was way too fuckin tired today to function (i like how i accidently typed down fuck instead of function the first time i tried to type this. ha) I had a pretty boring day at school. I think the only interesting thing that happened at school was randomly talking to the cute pianist in the music hall.... oh and i was randomly talking to some lady at the smoke shelter about her tattoo on her neck and she said she got it because it was her name when she was a drug dealer.... hmmmm, cool... kidding.

Went to work after school to go request some days off because of all the performances that we have coming up and heard that we hired like 7 new people.... holy shit.
sat in traffic FOR FUCKIN EVER and realized that i get really irritated when i let people into my lane and they don't give me a courtesy wave. fuckers....
then went out for sushi with marifel when i got back into town.

The waitress gave us cups to match our outfits.... pretty fuckin cute huh?
yeah i thought so too.
i'm listening to some good jazz tunes.... then im heading to bed.

Which is worse?

i can't seem to decide......

making a mistake over and over again and being unaware that you're doing so?


continuing to make the same mistake over and over again and not having the will power to pull yourself out of that situation?

To me i think they both have their faults.
in the first situation you have a lack of wisdom and knowledge.... you're being naive and totally aren't aware of your surroundings and situations that you're put in.
and in the second scenario you are aware but lack the will power and self control to make sure that you don't end up making the same fuckin mistake over and over again.

which is worse?
Im not sure.
I'm so emotionally drained right now.
Fuck it.

Monday, May 26, 2008



Punch Drunk Love

and tomorrow i want to watch this movie again.....
Lars and the Real Girl

The first time i watched Punch Drunk Love i was distracted and didn't quite get the movie, but this is my second time watching it and i really like it :]
It makes me want to watch Lars and the Real girl, which i WILL rent again tomorrow because they're both unconventional movies about love. And not to mention i kinda love Ryan Gosling and Adam Sandler.

I want a Barry or Lars of my own <3

oh you.

"How do you act out 'strong' ?"

Mean Muggin----> Cutsie I look better blurry
As he would say, street kings. I wanted to go into the gas station like this..... yes we would have gotten shot.

these are pictures from friday, ill update about my weekend later. im going to have some lunch.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

Mmmhmm :]

I really need to start checking the schedule at work. James called me up this morning and im working from 1 to 9; thus i can't go to the BBQ with everyone today. Kinda sucks, but atleast im getting paid.
Just a little update on here. So Veronica went to folklife yesterday and brought home a present. When we got to her house she handed me this piece of paper that had a whole buncha Vegetarian/Vegan restaurants around Seattle. Yay. Thats awesome because i always have a hard time finding somewhere to eat out with my friends because of my trial vegetarian period. But this is awesome.
I already have some places picked out.

Araya's Vegetarian Place
Mighty-o's Cafe
Vegan Garden
In the Bowl

just to name a few.
Well i think i need to go home to pick up some pants for work.
Then im having french fries and Vegetarian hot dogs for lunch with veronica :]

Friday, May 23, 2008


Please! Don't be one of THOSE mornings. I woke up completely energized from a pretty listless night and then i tried to print my study guide for Anatomy and i couldn't figure out how to work that shit. UGH.
Anatomy test today, auditions, folklife, and staying out tonight.
Tomorrow, BBQ with my favorites @ point no point which will involve boca burgers and vegetarian hot dogs for veronica and I. Family leaves for Oregon that night while i stay here cause i work on sunday.
Sunday night, the Lonely forest @ folklife.

i can't type right now.
i need to get ready for class.
i hate that my anatomy class is only 50 minutes and i hate my friday schedule, because i only have Anatomy and Jazz.
a fuckin 3 hour break.
really really?!?!?
i apologize for being somewhat bitter this morning.
it'll get better, i promise.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Anyone else feel me on this?

Ella feels me on this.

I'm wild again, beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep
When love came and told me, I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

Lost my heart, but what of it
He is cold I agree
He can laugh, but I love it
Although the laugh's on me

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And long, for the day when I'll cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

He's a fool and don't I know it
But a fool can have his charms
I'm in love and don't I show it
Like a babe in arms

Love's the same old sad sensation
Lately I've not slept a wink
Since this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink

I've sinned a lot, I'm mean a lot
But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get off his chest
Horizontally speaking, he's at his very best

Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank God, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I

Wise at last, my eyes at last,
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Burned a lot, but learned a lot
And now you are broke, so you earned a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Couldn't eat, was dyspeptic
Life was so hard to bare
Now my heart's antiseptic
Since you moved out of there

Romance, finish.
Your chance, finish.
Those ants that invaded my pants, finish.
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Pretty much the best cookie EVER

I went to the Social Security administrative building today during my break and i was there for like half an hour to talk to someone for about 2 minutes.
It sucked. And people kept looking at marifel and me because we were giggling.
This guy pretty much jumped me in line..... shoot, i thought it was funny.
Don'y stare at me because i have a sense of humor. Assholes.
Oh and also, on the way home from work, i was driving through Gorst and i had my windows down and i swear while i was passing through there... it smelt like fuckin WEED. it was soooo weird. Like Honestly?! weed?? Common people.

Well i don't think im going down to Oregon this weekend because i have to go to work on Sunday. So i'll have the house to myself.... Come keep me company dudes.

Now im gonna fall asleep watching Rob and Big and eattign Oreos.
Then im gonna work on my Study guide for a little bit and then Veronica is coming over and were making spaghetti for dinner.
mmmm, sounds like a good night to me :D

Monday, May 19, 2008

Won't you be my Neighbor?

Things in Excited for:

Possibly going to Oregon this weekend
Starting my new job
Last Jazz Concert
The new arrangement of "Won't you be my Neighbor?"
Going to Baseball games, bon fires, sunny weather.... k, so summer
A new neice
Alkai Beach with my jazz lovelies
Being one quarter away from graduating.

So i went into forever 21 today and filled out my w4s and all that good junk.
Im not sure when im going to start working, but im fairly excited for it. I've been waiting for a call back for this job and i finally got it. I am a little dissapointed that nick will be leaving in a month though, he's transfering over to the Northgate mall store. But hopefully ill be working with him next summer :]
Funny thing happened after i filled out my paperwork today. I walked into hot topic and i was thinking about buying a new CD. I was all dressed up and stuff because i had to go into work today, so i looked like a fuckin priss. The cute boy was working @ HT today and i mention something about the new blacklisted CD and he gave me this look like "wait.... YOU listen to blacklisted?!?" i love it when people can't read me like that. HA.
I whored today when i got home from school. wanna see?

I worked on fuckin Fundies homework for like 2 hours.
Fuckin shit, that was ridiculous.
Im gonna go work on some jazz music then read my employee handbook.
woo hoo.... exciting eh?!
yeah, i thought so.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A weird predicament

So i was at the mall earlier with the family and gayle and like always i went into forever 21 because gayle wanted to look for some new clothes for work and sophie was working today. She called me to the front counter and told me that she lost my application, but that she wanted to hire me. So im going in tomorrow morning after anatomy lecture.
This kinda sucks though, yeah i really wanted to work there, but i just started working at coldstone as well. So im not sure whats gonna happen.
We'll see what happens tomorrow when i go in.

i bought a fuckin denim jacket thing there... for like 40 dollars. its fuckin cute though.
wanna see what it looks like?!?? :]

oh and thats veronicas ass. Ha
We're going over to my house to do some anatomy and painting homework.
take it east kiddies.

oh, and i need to remember to write about getting coffee with bobby.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

This is what i think about you.

So yesterday was pretty fuckin interesting, but all in all, it was a pretty bum day :[

I got to lecture class on time, thats fuckin rare. Didn't really do anything in Anatomy today. Learned why people loose their motor function when they're drunk and why they aren't able to touch their nose in the field sobriety tests. Ha, sucky.

After anatomy was over i didn't really have anything to do until scholarship auditions. So Kat and I went to Old Navy to pick up her pay check and shop. I bought a really cute pair of new black flats for 10 bucks. Sweet. Had a good talk to Kat in the car about a few things while we were on our way back to school. ALSO realized that i was supposed to sing for Teri's wedding the next day and they had me scheduled to work from open till 5. So i called shan and told her, she was pretty pissed.... actually still is pretty pissed about it. She called me while i was at Kats bonfire and bitched me out.
I tried everything that i could to help her out; i called up people to see if they could play the song for her cause it was a pretty easy tune, i looked on itunes for a accompaniment that was in the right key and bought it so that she would be able to use it tomorrow. I felt horrible for having to bail out last minute, but im not going to ask for a day off when they are going to train me, its unprofessional. Sorry.

Anyways, after school i went home for a bit and got all my shit together for tomorrow ( i was planing on spending the night over at veronicas house ) and went over to Kats place for the bonfire. It was really nice :] It was cool just hanging out with everyone and it was just sooo chill. We had some awesome smores and played on a trampoline; even though i was in a dress, such a trooper right? ha. I left a little early though to go over to Chaz's birthday party. He's 19 now. WOOT. Happy birthday bud. By the time i got there everyone was smashed, it was ridiculous and everyone was all over each other in front of everyone else. It was kinda gross. It was really nice to see all the guys again (because its been so long since i've seen everyone) and it was cool meeting new people, but i just realized why i'm not so much into the party scene anymore. Some shit went down and i spent most of my time talking to people outside. Then i realized that i locked my keys in my car when i went to go change, so i had to have Jeff drop me over to Veronicas place and then we had to go to my house at fuckin 1 in the morning and make up some lame excuse as to why i needed the spare.

whew. So all in all yesterday had its ups, but a lot of downs.
Now i have to go to work. i hope its still sunny by the time i get off.

Friday, May 16, 2008

tired but happy.

im extremely tired. But im very very happy right now.
I woke up to sunshine, a pleasant surprise, and messy hair... i like messy hair.
So i got a new job yesterday.
Kinda random, but james called me up yesterday round 430 or so, and asked me if i was busy right now or if i would be busy that night, i told him i wasn't, and he hired me. LOL he knew i was looking for a job, and since his boss is gone for 3 weeks and they needed help, he hired me. Im really excited. It wasn't too bad. I closed yesterday, but on saturday they'll have me working on the stone. Im kinda excited.
I work from 10:30 to 5, so you guys should drop by if you want some ice cream.
It's the armed forces day parade that day. So it's gonna be hella busy.
woo hoo.
Hooray for money, new tattoos, and saving up for the new apartment :]
I'm totally going to wear a dress today.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Oh man.

Last night was possibly the worst night of sleep i have ever gotten.... like EVER.
I was like half awake the whole time, fuckin tossing and turning for hours, and not to mention it was freezing down in my room last night. erg, irritating.

Recap on past couple of days.
Monday- John, Anthony, and Marifel came over and we watched Awake. I watched it the night before, but its somewhat amusing when you watch it with other people. I was sitting next to Anthony and the whole time he kept saying "Anesthesia ON!" oh man, i love that commercial.

Tuesday- Had our performance @ Oly. We got outta Jazz early, so i went over to Jess' apartment with richard. I was cuddling with her cat, wearing my new dress from American Apparel and the cat ended up scratching up my leg. not cool. Then after our performance veronica came over and we made some awesome Kung Pao Tofu. I was happy.

Wednesday- picked veronica up from the ferry... she skipped school and we went to Albertsons to apply for Starbucks. Longest fuckin online application ever. I finished mine, but in the middle of her working on her app the power went out. It was really weird, i think the whole town went out. I called my dad to see if we had power over at our side of town and all i could hear was my mom cursing like crazy in the background. It was amusing. Power came back within 5 minutes. We watched 27 dresses over at my place and made really good spaghetti for dinner :]

I have scholarship auditions tomorrow. holy shit.
i need to get ready for school, i just wanted to tell you about my week thus far, blog <3

I go out to Seattle WAYYY too much.

Hooray for good Vegetarian food :]


Monday, May 12, 2008


My hair is outta control today.
I'm frying some tofu for lunch.... or whatever meal you have at 2:48 in the afternoon.
Then im applying for Starbucks and studying Cranial Nerves. Hooray.
Also, i forgot that im singing for a wedding this Saturday. Shit.
I should go check on that tofu.

You're good at what you do.

You really are. So stop fucking around with me.

I'm sitting in anatomy right now and i'm getting tired about talking about neurophysiology. So what do i do? i use my blackberry to blog! HA! Sorry Dr. Miller

I had a hard time sleeping last night thus the result was me having a hard time getting up this morning.

There's a lot of shit going on this week. Performance tomorrow night, lab exam on wednesday morning, auditions for next year on friday.
Fuck, it's only monday. I can't wait for the summer.

Now back to neurophysiology. yay.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Gimme more.

Random Pictures from this weekend and a little update.

Top Left: Chante & Me at Green River CC during the Social.
Right: Friday night @ Johns house. I was standing on a stool and anthony gave me money to buy food. HAHA he was sooo drunk.
Bottom Left: Group picture from johns on friday.
Right: On the ferry to Seattle on Saturday morning.

An update that most of you won't get.....

Dear you,

I wish i knew how to help you, but i can't. I know what the problem is, you know that the problem is. We both know how to fix it. But ultimately you know thats its up to you to do so. I don't like seeing you like this. Rarely do i ever get to see you like this and honestly, it kills me a little. So please just do me a favor and think about things. Sit back and think everything through. Think of whats on the line. You deserve better and i know that deep down you know that you do. Don't settle for less. Please, won't you try and do this for me? But more importantly do this for yourself. i love you.

Saturday, May 10, 2008


fuckin woke up late.
But im throwing these on here before i leave.
John had a party at his house, and i headed over there after i got back from auburn.
Here are some pictures.

I hang out with a buncha boys. Only sober one.
Sporting the Sprite.
Anthonys Abercrombie Face. HAHA
I love these boys. & veronica. lol
Veronica and I went to get food and found this on Johns porch.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I'm a flirt.

This statement was said to me on several occasions today.
hmmm. Thats an interesting little piece of information.
Tomorrow we're going to Green River for a Summit.
i'm really excited for it :]
I love meeting new people.
it'll be fun.

I'm going to Seattle on Saturday. Anthony wants to go to West Lake. Hooray for shopping.
Erm, here are some random web cam photos and a pic that veronica took while we were on the ferry that i absolutely love.
so long.
I hate it when people smile like this.
aha, cuteee
Fuckin late Ferry. Playing Piano on the DS

i like

that we close our eyes when things feel good to us, physically.
Aha, that sounds sexual. opps.

I'm totally not ready for my A&P test on Neurophysiology tomorrow.
Damn. Why am i soo totally listless when it comes to that.
Quit slacking kim.

I was listening to Blacklisted on the way home from school today, and i swear to god, these lyrics get me everytime.
"So just start confessing. Mother, Father, Sister, Brother. Everybody knows. There's nothing you can do to wash away your past. They'll just laugh and laugh when you ask 'will it always be like this?' "

ugh. I should go study.


I had the scariest dream last night about a certain someone who shall remain nameless for now.
I just want to write it down somewhere because i know that i will forget about it by the end of the day. Fuck me for watching that stupid episode of Dr Phil about "Men with Big Egos." Idiot.

Well i stole pictures off of Veronicas camera yesterday. So here are like 5 of them. HA

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

11:18 am

This is me @ 11:18 am. With 10 hours of sleep. Water in hand. No nicotine. No Caffeine. No make up. And no pants, but you can't see that.

I think i told someone that i should just be asexual.
God, help me out with that one k?

I'm gonna stop playing with the web cam, browsing myspace/facebook, searching for new music, and im gonna get ready.