Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Part 2

i think i did worse than before. Not sure how thats possible, but yeah....

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I'm scared....

It's funny how opportunities arise when you least expect them. Just when i was at my lowest point something comes along that could possibly get me outta it, but you know what? I'm scared.

I wonder if im moving on too soon. But the thing that i was thinking about is that fact that he seems to be doing great. Should i be forced to sit here and sulk in my own misery when he's already moved on? I don't think that i should. If he really is happier without me then i should just leave it be, and be happy that he's happy... right?

I mean, Zach seems like a really great guy. We kinda have the same outlook on things and the same goals in life. I was really surprised when i was talking to him because all of the things he was saying were things that i have said to multiple people before. We are a lot a like and i think that this could be good for me. The only thing holding me back is me thinking that im moving on too soon, or maybe its just useless hope, actually, i think thats what it is.... wow, that sucks.

I think he's actually coming in after he gets off of work today though. We'll see how that goes i guess...? Surprisingly i forget about everything and just get super giddy and happy when i see him, shouldn't i be wanting to hold onto that feeling?
i think so too.

Monday, July 6, 2009

"And so it goes."

So it seems that this really isn't a blog anymore, but more of a place where i can post videos and pictures that i find amusing or appealing at the time.

Anyways, Chris and I are no longer together and i honestly don't know how to feel about it. It's totally up and down. Surprisingly i was alright during the break up and i felt more angry than anything; i felt like i was just being dragged (is that correct grammar?? hmmm) along for the last couple of days before the break up... but later on during that day i felt totally weirded out. I don't know, im just so up and down about it. In a way i feel like it was the time to break up, but im just a little upset that i had talked to him the night before and that i could feel things getting distant, but it had to be on our 6 month. mehhhh.

I'm not sure if im upset at the fact that we aren't together anymore, or that i feel like im just going to be lonely. Thats always been a problem of mine.... i don't know how to distinguish between the two; no doubt that i loved him and absolutely adored him, but was i ready for it? Was it really the right time? Was the fact that i was willing to over look EVERYTHING because i wanted things to work out to badly part of the reason as to why i was feeling weird? Who know's....
Because i don't. No seriously, someone help me out with this.

i was randonly looking through my CD's in my car this morning and found a CD with this song on it (it was on my "Break-up CD" HAHA go figure. Anyways... its a song that i haven't listened to in years. Super sad and depressing, but for some reason, it makes me feel good. This is "Dry your Eyes - The streets"
i guess chris martin sings in it... WTF??!!

Enjoy, my dearies.