Thursday, December 18, 2008

repeat.


I've just been listening to this song on repeat since this morning.
Thanks for sending it... :)


Per Fare a meno di te
non so dove me ne andrò
che cosa inveterò
Per fare a meno di te
Io no, non mi sveglierò
non ti ricorderò

Quando guardo il cielo
cerco te
distrattamente guardo il
cielo e cerco te
e mi sollevo

Per Fare a meno di te
Non so quanto cuore avrò
io mi difendero

Quando Guardo il cielo
cerco te
Distrattamente guardo il cielo
e cerco te
E mi sollevo

Sulle circostante il tempo scivola ( sopra di noi)
l'infinito sceglie la sua lacrima
Dove cercare ( qualcosa di più) (ancora)
E fare a meno di te

Quando guardo il cielo
cerco te
Distrattamente guardo il cielo
e cerco te
E scioccamente mi sollevo
su con te
su con te
su con te


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Hi, im Kimberlie

and i have commitment issues......


When i was the ripe age of 17 i fell in love for the first time, and people around me at the time can vouch about this, i fell HARD. I fell for a boy (notice how i say boy and NOT man) who made my heart skip a beat, who would open doors for me, and who would ultimately break me like a porcelain doll being dropped onto a concrete floor. It was a disaster; i cried myself to sleep for almost 2 years because of that relationship, and although all that shit happened... i missed him. I missed the things that we used to do together, i missed being myself around him without having to worry, and i missed the security of having someone that cared for me.After everything was all said and done, my heart mended again, i decided..... that im so young. I had all the time in the world to find "Mr Right." If there is such a thing.What people need to understand is that, i like to have fun. I like to meet new people, i like the rush of kissing someone for the first time, and also the rush of waking up the next morning and seeing your clothes scattered all over the floor.Think what you want of those statements, but just know that im living my life the way that i want to. Im meeting new people and finding out the different qualities that i like to have in a man that im dating. When im ready to settle down, i will. When someone is amazing enough to sweep me off my feet again, i'll be ready. Call me picky, call me high maintenance, but im not settling for anything less than i want... especially when it comes to men.
wait....
you still dont get it?!
Key Points: I don't like to exclusively date people (as of this point and moment in my life)
I like to have fun, it doesn't mean im a slut, whore, or bad person
Im still looking for qualities in men that i want to have in my life.

Theres a little lesson on my view of relationships and history of love.



Learn how to deal with it please.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Its a little strange...


I awoke with the sound of cars steadily making their way down the street, with the sun just making its way into the room. Awoke in a bed different from my own, a bed that i havent been in in months. Stared blankly at the floor below and saw my dress, thrown carelessly onto it from the night before.


Its a little weird. I thought that i was done with everything... i mean it had been months since the last time that i had to drive down 45th at that time of night. My stomach was in knots as i drove under the bridge and made that sharp right hand turn up to his place. Weird..... is the only word that i can think of right now. So much happened. This was my view on the way home, it was a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.

I just dont know what to think anymore. Sometimes i wonder if my heart knows something that my brain doesn't. Maybe thats why i keep making this choice over and over again? Then again i could just be making the same mistake over and over again... im not really sure what the deal is.
Personal blog will be up on my myspace in a few days.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Lately,


its hard for me to differentiate from what's real and what isn't.
Im still trying to find my comfort zone.
Trying to find a good balance between things.
Work, school, and jazz are taking up a lot of my time.
I need to find a new job, checked the schedule today when i got back from Seattle and they only have me working the weekends.



fuckin ridiculous.
atleast i'll have a lot of time to work on essays and music.
*sigh* sometimes i wish i could just fast forward the next couple of years.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

One more thing.


I only have one thing thats keeping me going.....


please don't give up on me now.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

What have i gotten myself in to?

I am still alive.... just barely though.

Jazzline, School, and Working the closing shifts are slowly starting to beat me down. I don't know if i can work on a full schedule. We got about 7 new pieces of music. We have 10 weeks till our first Jazz festival, and im scared shitless about how the group is going to do this year. I came in a quarter later than everyone else did last year; supposedly its always this stressful the first month, just because things need to be organized and praticing habits need to be established.
Still im a bit overwhelmed. 


considering getting a new job,  although i love the one i have right now, i cant handle having to close by myself all week.... no opening shifts for me because my schedule doesnt permit me to do so. Im at school from 9 till 3, with only an hour break for lunch... then i have my shifts from 4 till close.


oh god, what have i gotten myself into....

Saturday, September 13, 2008

typing out loud.

i have had a lot of time to myself to sit back and think about things that are going on in my life.

Sometimes i wonder if i do things because im a needy person. And when i say "somethings" only a few people know what im refering to. Am i one of those stupid little teenagers and needs the spotlight on them constantly? & the only way i think i can accomplish that is by doing what im doing? I look at other people around me and see things in their lives that i want in mine, but they are things that i just don't have. It's not that big of a deal.... i know, but still i continue to make poor decisions based off of impulse. Yes, i may find satisfaction from it at that moment, but it's only temporary. When will i learn that thats all there is to it? Temporary satisfaction?? Obviously i'm aware of it, but still continue to make the same mistake over and over again. At what point does it stop being a "mistake" and start becoming my own personal "choice"? It's been a choice..... its been a choice of mine for almost 7 fucking months now.
It's going to fuck me over in the end.  I will become someone who is always hesitant to let people in, someone who will never be able to trust people in that sense, someone who will have commitment issues. its starting to happen. i can see it already. i see myself becoming this person. I've had opportunity to let other people in; but i just cant seem to let people in. No one is ever good enough. But the truth is, im actually not good enough for anyone.



self realization.
thanks.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Use this,

as future reference.

"Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.


The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesnt mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness scare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.

But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.


There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is though EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE.


Albert Einstein
(1879-1955)"

Monday, September 1, 2008

different.

Things were different this time.



and i cant seem to decide whether its a good thing or bad thing.
ill elaborate soon.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

my apologies.


Yes, you have been neglected and forgotten.
im sorry.
work, sleep, friends, iphone, and being a slut have taken over my life the past couple of weeks.

Not much is new.
Louie left last week..... won't be able to see him till october, possibly longer :/
Everyone is leaving for Cali this weekend.
Marifel leaves on friday.... aw ill miss my roomie
Momma leaves on Saturday (although i work from like noon to 8 that day)
then John and Anthony leave on sunday morning.... Veronica and I are dropping them off to the airport.

School starts in a little less than a month. im feeling a little apathetic towards it. i just wanna be done with school.shit son.


Heres something i found in my Journal.
not everyone will get it.
"August 7th 2008
i saw it coming. i saw myself climbing up the cliff. i saw myself go up to the ledge.... i looked down at everything before me... i contemplated coming down from a safer route... but i didn't. i stood on the ledge and peered over; once or twice i thought of how [pretty it was from up there. I didn't want to come down. i want to come down now, but theres no easy way down now. Theres only one way to get down... and its with a painful leap that will have a bad and messy ending."



Gotta get ready for work.
just thought i would let you all know that im still alive and kickin.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Undie OFF


It's like a face off..... erm, but with undies. I think marifel wins, but i have a better pose..... if that counts for anything. HAHA.
So it's myday off and im excited. Im going to get some blueberries for lunch then im going on Base with marifel to go get some make up... or something like that.

Louie lives for Iraq on sunday, so we're having a BBQ and Bon fire over at adrians house tonight. One last hangout with EVERYONE before he leaves.
I can't believe that he's going to be out there for over a year :/

erg. Well i was supposed to be at marifels like an hour ago. opps.
bye <3
Yes, it's Caprisun. Im aware im like a 12 year old. Shut up. They're good.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

As of late,


life has been treating me pretty well. I got to have a girls night with BBFQ a few nights ago, which was fantastic because i haven't hung out with all of them together since new years. I thought things would be awkward with Shannon and i since we haven't spoken to each other since our little fall out back in june, but it didn't matter.
We all drank wine and talked about the most interesting things. I love that we can all have something to talk about regardless of how long its been since we all last talked, it isn't awkward at all. Im glad i have friends like that.

Work has had me stressed out because im not very good at controlling labor yet and its something that devin has had to talk to me about on several different occasions, but hopefully i can figure it out sooner rather than later.

i have to go to work now. but just thought i would tell you that life is good right now.
oh, and BTW, im going to see rock votaloto on saturday and im fairly excited for that one <3

Monday, August 11, 2008

Keep it classy please.




Girls night in last night.
I love these girls to death.

3 years and going strong suckas!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

also...


i cut myself while i was cleaning the stone last night at work.
i love cleaning that store


BUT on a lighter note, i love my best friend because she calls up work and tells them that she has a family emergency so that we can hang out. hahaah
i love that bitch.

fruity



When i'm not working, my summer days ususally consist of two different things.

1)Delicious food, like fruit cups pictured to the left.

2)& bitches like marifel, a picture is also provided for you.


I hate working all the time.... actually i don't mind working all the time. I just wish i didn't have to work CLOSING shifts all the time, because i miss hanging out with my friends, and im too pooped to actually go out and do anything after work because i smell like icky waffle cones all the time and i love run on sentences, i am totally being an english teachers worst nightmare right now. bwha.

Anywhoo, i have today off and im going to buy some new cute dressies from americal apparel and im fairly excited. im picking jon up at 2 and we're meeting up with marifel to take the ferry over to seattle.
hooray for actually seeing some faces besides people from work.

toodles.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Yesterday


was my first day off since sunday of last week. So i ran some errands with mom and then later on in the afternoon i went to go get some starbucks with marifel, rented a movie, and bought a fruit cup at fred myers to munch on while i was at johns/driving. the creepiest thing happened to me yesterday while i was going to hollywood video though....
So marifel and i were walking out of fred myer and this old afriacan american guy ( and when i say old, i mean like 50!) walks by marifel and i as we were walking and he turns around and makes this "mmmhmmmm" kinda sound, and proceeds to give me the elevator eyes..... i stop right where i am standing because im slighty disgusted, paralyzed, and traumatized all at the same time. He walks into the walk in area and is still looking at my through the glass..... riight, i can't see you there dude.
Marifel has her draw dropped to the ground and i am STILL standing there and at the end of all of this you slowly hear the phrase "what....the...FUCK!" come outta my mouth.
then we both ran into hollywood video laughing our asses off because that was sooo disturbing.
DUDE YOU'RE OLD! KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF MAN!
ickkkk.


well anywyas. after renting the movie we go to johns house for a little bit,and just hang and talk about how each others week has been so far, since i haven't really hung out with the boys since saturday. then dilley calls me and asks me to come over for dinner. Cindy made some awesome grilled zucchini and tomatoes with fetta cheese. it was AMAZING! Cindy also let me borrow her vegetarian cook book for a little while. i'm fairly excited for it. im not gonna lie.
Then dill and i went to manchester dock, ate popsicles , and talked until pretty much midnight.

it was a nice way to spend my day off.
now im going to get ready for work.
BOO to fuckin closing shifts!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Finally.

My last day off was sunday. I don't get another day off till monday. fuck ass. but today is pretty much the only day that i don't have a closing shift.


After work veronica and i went to go get some food. it was yummy.
Ill put pictures from pista when veronica gets them up on myspace, once shes done editing and stuff.


On a different note, i've been having the strangest dreams lately. Take last night for example. Jeff was a "jumper" but he had to hold a cigarette to his forehead for it to work. WTF, and i've been having dreams about him again, i don't like it.

Here are some pictures and videos that veronica and i just took.








video

Monday, July 28, 2008

It's time,

to let go.



goodbye babycakes.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Im obsessed.

with this song.


The Blow - True Affection.


im going to Pista on Sunday to watch brothers band play.
Dustin Leaves Tuesday
James Leaves Thursday
and Louie Leaves on the 17th.
WTF, why the hell is everyone leaving?!?!?!?

Fuckin school and Military.


Pictures i need to put on here:
Jakes BBQ Pictures
Random movie nights @ Johns house
Pista
Tattoo pictures
and whatever else i can get my filthy little hands on.

i close tonight and everyone is playing flag football tonight.
That blows :[

Monday, July 21, 2008

Went and saw


this bad boy last night with Marifel, Anthony, Dustin, and Jonathon. It was good.



I think im gonna go with Chante to go watch it again pretty soon. Because we said we would go watch it together for the first time.


Sorry Chanty.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

You know what it is?

FUCKIN BULLSHIT!



don't sit there and treat me like that. How about showing some goddamn respect and perhaps listening every once in a while. You've said the same shit over and over again.... it's fuckin irritating. I get what youre saying, but it's honestly grade a bullshit. I have a life. Don't fuckin do this shit man, i have other shit to worry about. Im not a nanny. im a fuckin adult. Go ahead, fuckin test me. Take shit away. See what fuckin happens.

try me.

Friday, July 18, 2008


Recap of good events for the summer.

Monday- Jake had a BBQ at his house. Louie took me out to lunch before and when we went to go buy stuff for the BBQ he bought my Viggie Hot Dogs :D. It was nice hanging out with everyone over @ Jakes. We long boarded... i biffed it and got major road rash. We went to the park and long boarded there. Played Basketball and then went to go watch WallE later that night. Howie got me in for free. It was a cute movie.

Wednesday morning i went to the doctors to see what was up with my swollen lymph node. The doctor said it was normal and not to worry about it. Gave me a big long speech about how i should quit smoking and whatnot. Then put me on prenatal vitamins to get all the stuff that i need since i don't eat meat anymore. On my way home, john texted me and asked me if i wanted to go to the pool with him, louie, and anthony. Went to the pool, marifel met up with us. Went to dustins "going away" bbq. Then i went back home to meet up with Dill to go to the Flobots concert.

Wednesday Night i went with Eric and Dill to go to see the Flobots @ Elcorazon. It was awesome. they did really well and the band that opened up for them were really really good. Doom Tree. Google that shit man!

Yesterday, veronica got her tattoo. It looks awesome. Pretty much it.

It was nice to few days off. But now i work all weekend. I close most of the time. Its gonna suck. But i miss my love monkey! So im excited to see him.
Oh and also next week on sunday everyone is going to pista. Its gonna be awesome because everyone is gonna go.
Anyways, im gonna go pick up my paycheck and deposit it before work.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Early bird.



I got a text at 3 this morning and haven't been able to fall back alseep although i went to bed just shy of 1:30.

Wednesday i got my tattoo done
Yesterday was Veronica Lynns birthday. We went out to Purple in Seattle for dinner with everyone. I wore my really cute silky bobby dress, and i actually did my make up (notice the picture to your right.)
And today i think im going with her to the shop to make a deposit for her tattoo.

Since i've been up since 3, i got to watch the sun rise on my porch this morning.
It was lovely.

Life is good.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

DIRTY GIRL FOR LIFE!

Marifel and i messed around with veronicas webcam while she was doing applications.
Here you go.
Shes probably thinking "Fuckers."

We are fuckers though.

Then we're cute sometimes.

Heterosexual life partner. AWWW YEAH!

*TREAR* "Scholarly...."

"Dang we're hot."
Most attractive picture of us....EVER!

"IM TRYING TO FOLD PAPER!"

Shes cute. Im Boy crazy.

Dirty Little Secret

K, not really a secret.

DGL FOR LIFE BITCHES!

Its gorgeous outside. and we're dressed all cute. Lets go get some guys.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Birthday Outfit

this is veronicas birthday outfit.
I'll be walking around Seattle like this... @ night.
Come find me.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Whats up greater Seattle area?

So yesterday was cool. Veronica and I went out to some tattoo shops out in Seattle to get some estimates for birthday tattoos. It was way too fuckin hot yesterday, it was kinda ridiculous.
We went to Arayas Vegetarian Place for lunch... we ate at the buffet and it was fuckin amazing ass food :D. I have pictures from lunch. You'll notice as the pictures progress you can see our facial expressions change from happy to extremely full, all within the course of one plate of food. LMAO.

Some shops that we went to are...
Deep Roots on the Ave
Slave to the Needle in Wallingford
Slave to the Needle in Ballard
and then Anchor Tattoo in Ballard.
i think im liking Anchor tattoo out in ballard the best.

I'm watching "The Onion News" with veronica right now. So here are some pictures from yesterday. I'll post some ridiculous video up when they're uploaded as well.

Enjoy, lovelies <3

On the Ferry
"My names Veronica... and im cute."

*SMIRRRK*

yay
You meet some creeps on the bus.
Imma Happy Camper @ Arayas :D
Veronica was too.
Till we ate a little too much
This was me after one plate.
She does that when she's hungry.
Out in Ballard
The wheat feild!

It was too hot. We had to stop and sit in the shade.
This girl on the ferry had Fred Flinstone Feet. EWWW