a cover

I have my reasons for this cover.
Hope you like it.

Sorry,

You have been sooo neglected, and i apologize for that, but i may have a solution.....

Veronica and I have started Vloging on our youtube channel, just so we can keep up with each other and whatnot, and I might just start posting those videos here, so i can keep track as well. Ill still blog here (because there are obviously things that i would want to write about the i dont necessarily want on youtube or anything.... but for now here are 2 vlogs.

August 12,2010


august 14th, 2010


Enjoy, ill have another vlog coming up soon, I went on a float down Cedar River with Chris and SiNae yesterday, so heads up for that one.

Till next time....
-Kim

I have been,

looking at all these tumblr sites.... some of my favorite pictures thus far :)

This picture kinda made my heart melt.
Skyping with my ginger.... his remote was huge.. it was funny <3
Pretty self explanatory.
<3>

A few pictures from the most ridiculous weekend ever....

So Christal flew in this week and wanted to do some touristy things....
Her first day in, we went walked down the water front, and then this weekend we went bar hopping in Pioneer Square and Belltown... Here are some pictures from the weekend that i can't remember, but wont forget.
This weekend summed up in some words...
Homie Hoppin', iPhone stealing, bar tender flirting, bartender remembering, drunk sign language, drunk text/calls/emails, and clingy ass men.... photo evidence thanks to Christal.

Christal and her damn Penguin obsession...

Me and my Damn Cat obsession

James and Christal on the ferry, getting ready for the Brown Kid Reunion

"Why your eyes soo small??!! You drunk?!?" - Christ and my hand @ Marcus'

Dropping James off at the Ferry.

Already drunk... one of the many people i met this weekend.. Meet Army Jordan :P

This guy was awesome... Meet Dan- oh and im still drunk and signing "Bitch!" haha

After the bar on friday we went back to Dans work a few blocks away... Christal puke her guts out and the boys had to carry her to the couch from the bathroom... she was here majority of the night till we left at 6 AM. LMFAO

And the only picture from my super drunken night... Christal and Me and the Last Supper Club; the combination of her face and my tits got us in for free.... HAHAHA.

One last one, just to get everything out.

So lately i've been feeling really weird. It's finally hit me, that i'm slowly, but surely getting used to the fact that you are no longer a part of my life. It's hard to think of, because there was one point in time when i thought that we would be together for a long while... following through with plans.. making a new with you, and i was excited...
If you had asked me to pack up and leave at any moment, honest to God; i would have done it without any hesitation at all... that's how serious and how in love i was with you. I was crazy about you; maybe it was just me being young and naive...? But i was sooo crazy about you.
I know that things are better this way, but it doesn't help how much it hurts that you left; doesn't help that you left me for someone else, granted it's different circumstances, but either way it was you saying that you didn't want me anymore.... and it hurts like hell to had been rejected by someone that i was so in love with.
I'm just writing to get all of this out....It was soo random. I hadn't thought about you since the last time that we talked.... but i was rummaging through some videos on youtube and found this one, by an amazing singer... the title caught my eye for some reason, and i had to stop and take a listen. It's the combination of her soothing voice, simple melody, but powerful lyrics that got to me.... it reminds me of how i felt right after we broke up. It's like she took the words right out of my head and into an amazing song.
But this is just a temporary relapse.... but i think it's about time that i get all of this emotion out of me.... just one last time. This song is for you. I love you, and i hope for nothing but the best for you...


Here's the video that made me cry like a fuckin baby (lol).... "Someone you used to know" - Zee Avi

"It was helpless anyway
There's nothing much we could do or say
Darling don't you think it's a shame?
that it had to end this way

So here's to say goodbye,
our love is lost, and we cant figure why
maybe it really is about time
that we finally made up our minds

So Darling, here's to you
i hope that when you find someone new
that she would always be true to you
to love and understand you

Soon you'll build new memories
then slowly you'd forget about me
then i would slowly be
a distant memory

*Soon i'll just be
that someone you used to know
But darling you will thank me
for letting you go
time is not for wasting
i hope you'll find your intended
But i'm sorry
that your intended isn't me

it's not an easy thing
to shake off our history
i know that's what you want from me
but they will always stay with me

i admit i made mistakes
but darling with you it's just the same
if we stay there will be more to make
i dont know how much more we can take

Darling, it would be unfair
to stay with something no longer there
but it doesn't mean i no longer care
but i'd feel like a burden you can't bear"

This version,

is better than the one on the youtube account (since this one is actually in my range :P)

just a little snippet of it... but recently i have been soo in love with this song.

So thanks John Legend... for being fucking amazing <3

"Turning over a new leaf"

So i have this thing weird thing about getting tattooed or pierced after something life changing or big happens in my life, and i have decided to get a new tattoo this month; due to recent events.
I've decided on getting a Cherry blossom/tree. May seem a little cliche, but I think that the meaning is extremely appropriate.

"It encourages everyone to appreciate what little time they have on this Earth and it promotes gratitude for what they are given. This symbol could remind you that all things pass in time and that bad situations won't last forever."

I think this tattoo will lift my spirit up in hard and difficult times in my life... because i really do agree with the meaning of it; everything passes and life is to short to sit and dwell on things, enjoy things while you can.

The rediscovery,

of this song.... makes me extremely happy :)


RECAP:
Last night i went out with some lovely people to the Last Supper club to watch DJ Jazzy Jeff spin(David, Drea, John, and Zak). It was a very nice night and it was nice to be out with people for a change, and met some nice people too.... how lovely.

Note to self: The chase is always fun.

Take care of yourselves, my lovelies.

-Kimberlie

Too much, too fast

Talk about terrible timing and inconvenience.
The scariest phone call that I have ever received came to me on monday after class....
It came at the most inconvenient time, after the previous weekend, terribly inconvenient.
and it came after such hard news.

But after talking last night, the only thing that i can tell myself is that im going to be fine.
I will be. It's just going to be a long couple of weeks, but i need to keep moving forward
There's shit that needs to get done, I can't let this distract me until I know that im dealing with.

But, this is just a reminder to myself.
Breathe, take a look at everything in front of you.
You'l be fine, just keep moving forward until we know whats going on for sure.
Breathe, Breathe, Keep Breathing.

i believe,

that everyone deserves happiness......



take care of yourself....

It's time,

To start looking out for number one.
I need to start taking care of myself, because at the end of the day i know that i can't count on anyone else but myself.
Thanks for the memories, regardless of most of them being bad.
I've learned a ton, and you're making it easy and better for me by walking away.
It hurts like hell, but it'll pass.... like everything else does.

Good luck to you.

I'm no good for you
You're no good for me
This will hurt, I know
you'll change your mind

This is what I want
I cannot pretend
& I promise I won't do this to you
again

Take care of yourself
Someone else needs you
Do not be reckless
I won't be there to save you

"Don't do this", you say
but it's far too late
My world is not made for you
I don't want you

To have a clean break
& me leave with out you
It's what's best for you
Time will heal all of your wounds

I'll always love you
in a way
But you must forget about me
like I never existed

Goodbye, take care of yourself

I can see clearly now,

you're making your decisions abundantly clear.

i don't understand what else i'm supposed to do, except what everyone else is telling me to you.

i'm beating a dead dog with a stick.

i'm just soo exhausted of being so unhappy all the time.

I hold my breath when I take your hand
To try and make the moment expand
Wrap my head around the epic truth
There's nothing I can do
I'll always be in love with you

Though they say a man must be an island
Didn't take me long to realize
That my lady you are like the ocean
And the obvious is true
There is no me if there's no you

Lord, I'm on borrowed time
Story of my life
Ever gonna make it work?
Ever gonna make it last—
For a while?

Lord, I'm on borrowed time
Story of my life
Ever gonna make it work?
Ever gonna make it last—
For a while?

'Cause I know, it happens all the time
But something that we're doin' doin'
Just like the sun's gonna rise up
Our love keeps movin' movin'

'Cause I know, it happens all the time
But something that we're doin' doin'
Just like the sun's gonna rise up
Our love keeps movin' movin'

'Cause I know, it happens all the time
But something that we're doin' doin'
Just like the sun is gonna rise up
Our love keeps movin' movin'

Lush life

sung by my hero, Ella Fitzgerald

Happiness

I don't understand why that's so hard to achieve.

Old habits....

Die hard.



That is all.

"you don't know me"

I don't know who you are. After I found out what I did, it finally hit me. I have no idea who you are. How could you keep something that big from someone that is supposed to mean a lot to you.
I remember a specific conversation that we had when we first started dating that shows that you just straight up lied about everything.
I think that I just made everything up and that's what makes ne upset. I fell
In love with someone that I made up.... Or atleast that's what I feel like.

I'm just super upset.
It's pushed me away from you and I don't feel bad about anything anymore.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Can time move a little faster, please....?

So here's a little update.

I currently live in Lynnwood with Brother and Gayle.
I am no longer an ice cream slave for Cold Stone, I work in downtown Seattle at Washington Federal Savings as a bank teller.

Next month will be my 21 run (super stoked for that one.)
and most important I got accepted into UW Bothell and will be starting on January 4th 2009.

Lifes starting to move forward a little bit, and im really excited about that.

It's the begining of the Holiday season and i'm so glad that im close to downtown to experience it all!!
Apparently the Macy's Day parade comes right down the street by work, so that will be fun to watch from work (that goodness for having ALL glass windows at work...)
Chris' birthday is coming up, then mine, then christmas, then new years, and then our 1 year shortly afterward.

This year has gone by super fast! Where did the time go...??!!!?

I'm sorry that i've been neglecting you, blog... i hope you can forgive me.

Mate Debate: Is monogamy realistic.

Found this on CNN.com and found it somewhat interesting.

"(CNN) -- If you were to judge the success rate of monogamy by the sex lives of public figures, perhaps couples should change their marriage vows to say, "Till a tempting new partner do us part."

Talk-show host David Letterman recently joined former presidential candidate John Edwards, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer on a long list of politicians and entertainers (think Jude Law) who have admitted having sex outside their marriage or committed relationship.

But do they just illustrate the realities of modern life?

In the age of hookups, friends with benefits and online dating, and as human life expectancy grows, is it still reasonable to expect people to pair up and stay monogamous until death do them part?

"It's realistic that some people can mate for life in the same sense that some people can play the Beethoven violin concerto or other people can ice-skate beautifully or learn a new language," said psychiatrist Judith Eve Lipton.

Added evolutionary biologist David Barash, "It's within the realm of human potential, but it's not easy."

Lipton and Barash, who have been married 32 years and are the co-authors of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Myth of Monogamy," said serial monogamy may be more realistic -- a model in which people move from one committed long-term relationship to another and choose partners for different reasons at different stages of their life.

Possibilities in polyamory?

For some, even serial monogamy seems too restrictive.

The 1970s introduced the concept of "open marriage" in which couples stayed married but were free to date other people.

More recently, polyamory -- the practice of having romantic relationships with multiple people at the same time with the full knowledge and consent of all involved -- has been getting a lot of attention.

"We found the expectation that one person should be our everything seemed unrealistic given our day and age. ... It's oddly pressuring to set up that scenario," said Mark, who lives in Springfield, Missouri, and is in a polyamorous relationship. (He asked that his last name not be used for privacy reasons.)

Mark, 42, has been married for five years. He and his wife tried different things to spice up their marriage, including swinging, or having casual sex with other people, he said. But they found the experience unfulfilling and decided what they really wanted was to be able to fall in love with others while staying together.

Mark dates another woman, and his wife, who declined to be interviewed for this article, is dating another man. The four of them frequently get together to have dinner or watch movies.

"People describe polyamory as 'poly-agony' because of all the work you have to do to maintain things," Mark said. "It's just not normal to look over and see your wife with another man. I know a lot of people would have a real problem with that. I really don't."

The ultimate goal is for everyone in the group to live together, Mark said.

"This isn't about having affairs, it's really about being able to be open and loving," he added.

Researchers studying polyamory estimate there are more than half a million polyamorous families in the United States, according to Newsweek.

People seeking shorter, more secretive dalliances now have more opportunities than ever online. One example: The Ashley Madison Agency, a dating Web site for married men and women, which claims 4.5 million members and greets visitors with the motto, "Life is short. Have an affair."

No wonder many people believe monogamy is completely on its way out. French author Jacques Attali in recent years wrote, "Monogamy, which is really no more than a useful social convention, will not survive. It has rarely been honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal."

Cultural give and take

That ideal may depend on where you live.

A journalist who traveled the world to examine how adultery is viewed by different cultures said Americans have a harsher view of infidelity than people in practically any other country.

"Americans are too surprised by infidelity when it happens. I think we go into marriage with perhaps unrealistically high expectations about human nature," said Pamela Druckerman, author of "Lust in Translation."

The French, in contrast, are as hopeful about staying faithful as Americans when they get married, but if one of the spouses has an affair, they are able to accept it as something that can happen over the course of a long marriage, said Druckerman, an American who lives in Paris.

When French President François Mitterrand died in 1996, for example, his longtime mistress and their daughter attended his funeral -- at his widow's invitation.

"[Americans] think if an affair happens, it's the end of the story, the fairy tale has been completely shattered, the person isn't the person we thought they were. The knee-jerk reaction is you have to get a divorce," Druckerman said.

"[In France,] there's less of a sense that the person who cheats is a terrible human being or that this is a marker of a person's whole character."

In Russia, Druckerman found that infidelity is considered a pleasurable vice, like smoking cigarettes. In Finland, sex in general is viewed as a very positive experience, so when a person is presented with the possibility of a sexual experience, it's in some ways socially sanctioned to pursue it, Druckerman said.

Famous and powerful are different

Experts on relationships and human sexuality said that while we may not be wired to stay faithful to one partner for a lifetime, we can make a conscious decision to do so -- a choice that still comes with powerful emotional, biological and economic benefits.

And while the sexual exploits of celebrities such as David Letterman can be shocking, it's important to remember that powerful or famous people can have more inclination, opportunity and resources to stray.

"They are used to the adrenaline rush in terms of being out there in the limelight. ... I call them adrenaline junkies," said Terri Orbuch, a professor of sociology at Oakland University and author of the new book "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great."

"They need that passion and excitement in their relationships."

That can make famous or powerful people more likely to look outside their marriage to continue the adrenaline rush, Orbuch said.

Power, wealth and fame are also well-known aphrodisiacs that attract lots of potential new sexual partners -- an issue with which typical couples may not have to grapple.

Monogamy's payoffs

Whatever the temptation, most people still prefer to be in a monogamous relationship, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and who also is chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.

"People feel safer and they feel more trusting. They feel like they can depend on their partner," Kaslow said. "I think that we can make choices in a different way than [other] mammals and think through the consequences of things."

Those consequences can be huge, in many ways. Nature has provided powerful incentives to stay faithful that are still valid.

"There are a lot of reasons why sexual monogamy is in people's interests," Lipton said.

"Because whether it's raising children or avoiding emotional chaos and drama, like what David Letterman is facing, or whether it's building an estate and avoiding conflict about estate planning, there are lots of reasons that two people who cooperate are better off than one person alone or one person who is a cheat."

Chew on that one.

this,

is how i've been feeling the last couple of days.
and not to mention... i love this girls voice and the ukulele :D

Finally,

things are starting to fall into place. After a long spring/summer of disappointments things are starting to look up. im so excited.

I did not get into the University that i wanted to, I didn't get to move out with my best friend like i had hoped to, but after all of this i still managed to get things together.

I have a possibility to get to work for Bank of America, i just need to get through the background check and personal interview with a branch manager..... BoA is looking for locations for me to interview at.

I am going to be more focused on school; since university wasn't an option this year i am going to go to Cascadia Community College to do a couple classes a quarter and to get my GPA up, then hopefully next year will be better.

I am going to move out into the city on September 1st. I am moving into a house with Davey and his roomates... they're all musicians, which is great for me since between work and school i won't be able to do jazz next year like i had hoped to.

I am so glad that things seems to be turning around.